Balk!

The Los Angeles Times has decided to weigh in on the Arizona immigration debate vis a vis the 2011 Major League baseball All-Star Game, and earned themselves a spot as today's Object of Ridicule and Scorn. The editorial starts out so promising, with a clear position, an aggressive title, and an interesting and relevant subject matter. I was gearing up to face an actual challenge when I read this. Sadly, despite a lot of very impressive words, there weren't any clear arguments here, which is particularly upsetting because this column speaks for the position of the entire paper. 


Just to be open and honest at the outset, I'm going to make an earnest effort to limit myself to only one steroid-related joke.

STEP UP TO THE PLATE

Baseball should move the 2011 All-Star game from Phoenix to protest Arizona's immigration law.

I almost miss the schizophrenic chaos of Mark Morford's ramblings. Maybe the Times will be more articulate.

For 141 years, baseball has mirrored and propelled America's evolution.

If America mirrored baseball, we would have ‘roid-raged the hell out of Iran long ago. Damn. I already reached my steroid joke quota. 

It has bridged class divisions, lifted the country's spirits in dark times and, ultimately, helped break down racial barriers. Today, with American values again under attack in Arizona, baseball needs to act.

Apparently states’ rights to self-governance doesn’t really count as an “American value.” The L.A. Times seems to think values like fairness are more American than those pesky rights the founding fathers actually bothered to write down. No one really takes the Tenth Amendment seriously anyways.

Born at a time when the country was most divided, the game helped Civil War soldiers stave off fear and boredom. Young men of North and South picked up fence posts and tree branches and swung at balls of cork or knots of rags wrapped around walnuts. At that moment of ultimate American disunity, baseball united: Officers played with enlisted men; prisoners of war played against one another and even their guards. After the war, the game became the physical expression of our founding ideals and the vernacular of our lives, even for those who never rooted for a team or hit a ball with a bat. "Three strikes" describes our limited tolerance for failure; we "pinch hit" for others when necessary and cope with life's "curveballs."

Point made. If I may suggest a rewrite: “Baseball is America’s pastime. The two are inexorably linked.” I feel like the brevity adds punch.

Ebullient Babe Ruth and classy Lou Gehrig captured the nation's attention in the Roaring '20s and then distracted us during the Depression. President Franklin D. Roosevelt deemed the "recreational asset" of 300 teams so worthwhile that he urged owners to keep the games going through World War II.

There has to be a reason they keep harping on the tie between baseball and Americanism. I mean, I don’t disagree, but the point was conceded long ago and there’s nothing poignant or compelling about any of this.

Ty Cobb,

I’m going to go way out on a limb and guess that this is going to have something to do with race relations. The name you’re looking for is Jackie Robinson.

 Satchel Paige,

Jackie Robinson.

Ted Williams,

Jackie Robinson.

Willie Mays,

Jackie Robinson!

Sandy Koufax,

Jackie Robinson!!!

Roberto Clemente

JACKIE ROBINSON!!!

 — these men left indelible marks on the American soul.

But baseball is entwined with American life, not above it,

So, you’re saying that baseball should not be held as an exemplar? Just a forewarning, this kind of undercuts your argument.

and sometimes it suffers along with the nation. Decades of exclusion of black athletes from the major leagues gave the lie to the notion that the American dream could be attained by anyone.

I’d like to give lie to the notion that professional writers have the ability to make cogent arguments.

When Branch Rickey and Jackie Robinson

FINALLY!

broke the "color line" and Robinson joined the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947, it became a metric for American progress.

That doesn’t sound like a metric at all. You’re looking for the phrase “watershed moment,” “seismic shift,” or “cultural breakthrough.” An example of a metric would be words per column before articulating a fact-based argument.

Robinson's rookie year is as sure a precursor of Brown vs. Board of Education as was any decision of the Supreme Court.

The Brown v. Board of Education decision specifically mentions Sweatt v. Painter and Mclaurin v. Oklahoma State Regents as pertinent (though not governing) case history, but remains oddly silent about the Brooklyn Dodgers personnel decisions. Brown v. Board of Education is a seminal Supreme Court Decision, and any implication that it was based on baseball undermines the jurisprudence and legal thought that went into the decision. Brown should be a point of pride for all Americans insofar as it vindicates the Constitution as a document without race.

Even though Robinson’s emergence with the Dodgers was a watershed moment for race relations in the United States, it was hardly the first civil rights breakthrough and wouldn’t be the last. Jackie Robinson crossed the color line in 1947. Brown v. Board of Education was decided in 1954. Seven years is an awfully long time to draw a direct link. Here are some other notable events that occurred between 1947 and 1954:

·        The Marshall Plan is proposed, executed, and expired.

·        The CIA, NATO, and the NSA are all founded

·        The Korean War starts and ultimately ends

·        The 22^nd Amendment is ratified

·        The hydrogen bomb is ordered, researched, completed and tested

·        The polio vaccine is developed

Anything relevant to civil rights happen? (This took me 32 seconds to look up)

·        Sipuel v. Board of Regents

·        Shelley vs. Kramer

·        Truman’s orders the desegregation of the US Armed Forces; it is enacted two years later.

·        McLaurin v. Oklahoma State Regents and Sweatt v. Painter (these sound awfully familiar)

·        Henderson v. United States

·        Davis v. County school Board of Prince Edward County and Briggs v. Elliott (both of which led to Brown)

·        Ralph Bunche is the first person of color to be awarded the Nobel Prize.

·        Gebhart v. Belton and Belton v. Bulah

·        Delaware desegregates schools

·        Sarah keys v. Carolina Coach Company

·        Hernandez v. Texas

But to be fair, not much could have happened in baseball, right?

·        Bobby Thomson hits “The Shot Heard ‘Round the World”…against Jackie Robinson’s Brooklyn Dodgers, completing one of the greatest comebacks in MLB history.

·        Jackie Robinson plays in 1036 Major League games, racking up over 1200 hits, 104 home runs, 166 steals, and almost 600 RBI. During this run, Robinson also has the best season of his career in 1949, winning a batting title and leading the majors in steals.

·        The Brooklyn Dodgers lose four World Series’

·        Emmett Ashford becomes the first African American umpire in MLB history

·        Marilyn Monroe marries Joe Dimaggio

I don't want to take away from Robinson. His was an exceptional story, and the man himself was, by any measure, exceptional. But he wasn't responsible for the most significant Supreme Court ruling of the era.

It was also one of those moments when the right business decision served the cause of social justice. This is another such moment.

Oh great! So there will be a business-related justification for moving the All-Star Game out of Phoenix. I’m looking forward to something economic, financial, or even marketing-related.

A new law in Arizona seems almost certain to lead to racial profiling against Latinos,

Which the actual text of the law expressly prohibits.

violating the American values so integral to baseball. Many Americans are appalled,

but a clear 62% national majority are very much not appalled.

and a movement to boycott the state is afoot. Cities from Oakland to Boston have forbidden city-funded travel to Arizona. On Wednesday, Los Angeles joined them; the City Council voted to ban most city travel there and to forgo future business contracts with companies headquartered in the state. Conventions are being canceled as well. The 104-year-old Alpha Phi Alpha — the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s fraternity — has moved its July gathering to Las Vegas.

Somehow, the Alpha Phi Alpha annual gathering hardly seems like a draw on par with the Major League Baseball All-Star Game.

We'd like to see Major League Baseball pull the 2011 All-Star game from Phoenix. There is ample and effective precedent. Pro football moved the 1993 Super Bowl from Arizona to Pasadena after Arizona refused to adopt Martin Luther King Jr. Day as a holiday.

It’s a different sport, but okay, I can see the comparability.

In 1947, the Dodgers moved spring training to Cuba, abandoning Florida, to preserve the dignity of its one black player.

Not only does this precedent predate Cuban communism, it is also both untrue and nonsensical. The Dodgers didn’t move spring training because they profoundly respected Robinson. While they were the most progressive team of the era (obviously), they didn’t do their spring training in Florida because Dodgertown didn’t open until 1948 and several Florida venues turned down events with Robinson and another black spring training invitee Johnny Wright. 


What's more, Branch Ricky, the Dodger's executive who signed Jackie Robinson did so expecting--and rightfully so, that Robinson would be subject to the indignity of vicious threats and racial slurs. Indeed, Ricky chose Robinson, despite several more accomplished players in the Negro Leagues at the time, because he believed Robinson both talented from a baseball position, and able to withstand the degradation. Had the Dodgers been so concerned with maintaining Robinson's dignity, they would have played their entire season in Cuba.          

Can the same game that stood for such principles half a century ago now allow its Latino all-stars to travel to Phoenix, where they could be treated as suspect because of the color of their skin?

Major League Baseball players, particularly those in the American League, are routinely forced to “show their papers” every time they cross the border into Canada for a game against the Toronto Blue Jays. Major League Baseball games have been played in Puerto Rico, Japan, and even China. The idea that Arizona’s laws are any more draconian, prejudicial, or dangerous than those of communist China is absurd. But boycotting a single game a year from now is all the more daffy because is 81 Major League Baseball games will be played in Arizona every year for the foreseeable future, regardless of where the 2011 All-Star Game is played.

On Thursday, baseball Commissioner Bud Selig hinted that he was not inclined to pull the game. And Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, whose cynical approval of the new law codified Arizona's disgrace, is trying to head off what would be a powerful economic and moral blow to the state.

I was under the impression that an actual economic and/or business-related argument would be made in favor of moving the All-Star Game. Actually, I was under the impression that any actual argument would be made beyond simple vindictive anger.

She argued on ESPN.com that "economic boycotts are an inappropriate and misguided response." But no one is obligated to do business with a villain.

Unless you have…and I’m just spitballing here…some sort of an written and/or verbal agreement with said villain to offer mutual protection from unscrupulous business partners who want to back out for no good reason. A contract maybe! 

Yes, Arizona is suffering real consequences from federal inertia on immigration reform, but it has responded with a law that violates this country's ideals.

Please back off the "ideals" argument. The pesky language of the law keeps getting in the way. I was promised at least an attempt at a business argument!

And if the social justice reasons alone are not persuasive,

They’re not even close to persuasive.

let us state a few home truths. Baseball's leadership today is primarily in the realm of steroid use.

You’re wandering again. Plus I already made my quota of steroid jokes.

That great home-run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa that riveted the nation in 1998? McGwire now acknowledges longtime steroid use. (Sosa later was found to favor a corked bat). Alex Rodriguez, the Yankees' $275-million-man? Steroids. Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro? Steroids. Home-run champ Barry Bonds? Steroid user — and a surly one at that.

Excellent list.

The game still looks like major league baseball, but it feels like World Wrestling Entertainment.

Is this an article on steroid use?

Major League Baseball's tepid response to this subversion of fair play is all the more reason for it to step up now.

Except that there is absolutely no link between Major League Baseball’s non-involvement with state law in Arizona and its non-involvement in curtailing recreational steroid use, a violation of state law (even in Arizona).

Denying Phoenix the privilege of hosting the All-Star game won't erase the scandals that plague the league, but it would remind the country that even after all these years, baseball can help make America worthy of its game.

WHAT?!?! By making baseball better (which you still have yet to even submit a business argument for, by the way) it would finally make America worthy of baseball? We have subjects and direct objects for a reason. Do I have to teach grammar to an entire editorial board?

Now, I’ve tried to avoid the tried-and-true defenses of the Arizona bill (that it only kicks in in the course of a normal police interaction, that specific language bars racial profiling, and that the bill is largely just an enforcement of existing federal law) because they really aren’t needed. This rhetorical turd has failed to move the burden of proof one iota. I still have yet to find a single sensible reason to move the All-Star Game out of Arizona. Los Angeles Times Editorial Board, you deserve nothing but ridicule and scorn for your massive professional incompetence.